Double Figures!!!

Like I said in the previous post I would post again once I was into double figures and now I am. I was actually in double figures a few days ago but I have just not been up for writing this. I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. I think all this waiting is just bringing me down and getting to me, not in the sense that I don't want to go, just that I am sick of all the waiting. At first I thought it was a good thing that I had all of this time to wait so that I could get all of my things in order and get enough money saved up, but it is now dawning on me that I didn't need that much time to get ready. As I have all this time I feel like I'm not doing anything for going away for such long periods of time because there is a lot of stuff that I can't do so I just don't feel like doing the stuff I could be doing any more. I know that is a bit of a ramble but I feel that is what my head is like just now, everywhere and nowhere all at the same time and doing the same thing everyday and not enjoying it just keeps making me think of what I could be doing in Disney.

I have also been thinking about when I get back from Florida and I know I am looking far too far into the future just now but I can't help it. I am a worrier at heart. I keep thinking "how will I cope coming home to normality after being there and doing something so different?" and I do really think that I wont cope very well but I know my friends and family will help me through. No matter how they do it, from small things to the big, even if it is just a chat online I know it will help cause I know it is going to be a huge adjustment. The adjustment in Disney I think will be easier as everyone will be feeling exactly the same plus its going to be awesome, working in Disney, living in Florida it really is a dream.

When I get back I will also have to limit my stories that begin "in Florida/ in Disney" and especially "this one time in Disney/Florida" because I know it will get very old very fast and I don't want to bore people like I think I have done already with all my talk about over there. I have tried to limit myself talking about it to only when somebody asks about it as I don't want it to seem like its all I think about.

I think I will stop there as I don't have anything else to write, and this post isn't exactly happy cheery but I am sure that the next post will be better, I think I am just in a slump. Need to snap myself out of it as this is not a good Disney attitude, well at least not in public, so I will need to practice having the split persona in case I do have an off day in Florida which I cannot show when I am working in Disney as I will always be on stage.